A series of unfortunate events!

What the f**k?! I have had enough of this… :x


I have repeated these lines a dozen times in my head today. It all started with waking up to an empty hostel and watching my clothes lying in a pool of mud… Apparently, a rain came to visit last night and took away my happily swinging crystal-clean laundry for a ride.. Nothing like washing washed clothes without wearing them!! :x
Next, I have to pack my stuff to leave for home after getting ready(bathed and all). However, the water runs out in the most critical phase and I m left alone, bereft of any help… How did I get out of that bathroom and sneaked up to the next one, I’ll never know.. But I am inwardly thankful that the hostel is empty! :x

So, after some very embarrassing moments in the corridor, I get set, ready to jet.. Heading to the mess, I find an empty dining hall with a note saying that its closed for the winter. To any normal person, it doesn’t seem that big a deal. But to a person, who missed his breakfast, had to wash his laundry twice for no fault of his and had to undergo severe stress and strain while bathing, it’s a punch in the rear. No wonder wars will be fought over food! :x

Still controlling myself, I eat a dozen bananas and half a dozen oranges… Now I just need to walk on all fours and you’ll have the rise of the planet of apes :P

Anyways, I take my stuff and head over to the gate. In the cab, halfway to the airport, starts another bit of trouble. A flat tyre… A mind-numbingly stupid piece of rubber that loses all its air while taking a seemingly flustered gentleman to his destination… The cabbie gets to changing the tyre while I have to be content cursing my luck and the road.. Finally, 10 minutes later, we are back on the road.. I pray to god that they hurry up with the tweel research! :x

At last, I stand in the queue for security check… Now, look closely to this part.. They ask me why do I have an empty bag in my luggage. I reply that I didn’t have much stuff to put in it, but I needed to take that bag home anyways. So its empty.

They look at me suspiciously, call a supervisor, and ask me to step away from the queue in a separate cubicle. There, I m stripped of my shoes, socks, watch and belt and groped mercilessly by another officer who was a little too ‘touchy’… Once they are satisfied that I m no threat to the flight and that I m just as stupid as they thought initially, I m allowed to move further… If only I were a little bigger, I would have given them ‘the finger’ :x

Nothing much happens in the first flight, apart from really small portions of paneer tikka with two tiny pieces of papaya, a piece each of pineapple & watermelon. Its over within 2 minutes and I look expectantly at the air-hostess, fluttering my eyes so that she may bring me another plate of snacks… But no, they may be paid to flirt, but they certainly aren’t paid to feed.

I land at Mumbai, sneer at the steward at the gate and climb down. However, a steward throws us straight into a bus, announcing that the next flight has been pre-poned due to fog and we need to proceed to the next bay immediately. I ignore nature’s call and somehow manage to stand for the next 30 minutes in the bus, right next to a newly-married Irish couple and a guy from Johannesburg. We stop in front of the aircraft, are hustled like cattle and departed with dazzling smiles. Throwing my baggage in the rack, I barge my way to the loo, elbowing elderly and children out of the way. Finally, m back in my seat, with a book in hand, trying to catch a few moments of relaxation. Next moment, the kid in the next row decides to pull his mother’s hair and blackmails her for ice-cream. I could have given anything to throw this kid out of the plane with a box of ice-cream on his giant fat head! :x

Now, here’s where it gets tragic. I had already booked a train ticket. But I was supposed to travel through air at five times the expense (and on an empty tummy!!!) so that I may reach home without any unnecessary exertion and waste of time. The time might have been saved, but it was certainly more exhausting than any other train journey all my life.

What the f**k?!?! You have had enough of this… :x

4 comments:

  1. WHN WILL U REACH HOME....

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  2. one of ur bests.. :D
    but i dont like ur attitude towards kids.. :-/

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  3. that particular kid was getting on my nerves :x
    anyways, thanx a lot :D

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