Joe Average..

This is the story of a guy called Joe Average. The experiences he had, the life that he led and the things he wanted for himself.....


It all starts from the word 'anger'. Joe had a terrible temper. He would start seeing red even if a fly buzzed past his ears. An absolute paranoid who would go about hitting those who didnt do as he pleased. Then one day, one of his victims hit back. Joe was taken aback. He realised that he no longer had control over other people's mind and started shrinking in his own mind. Years passed like this and Joe gained a little more control over his angry self.

Joe's family was very normal. His father was kinda lenient towards discipline while his mother was strict as most mothers are. He was hardly ever allowed to wear what he liked best and chocolates were a thing he always craved for. Joe's friends never really took him seriously and his parents were too busy to notice that he was in dire need of attention. Oh yeah! Joe had a long bout of illness when he was 2 years old. He used to have fits and for moments, his heartbeat would stop and he was lifeless. About 18 fits and several medical tests later, doctors pronounced in the CT scan that Joe was abnormal. That is, Joe's brain had insufficient supply of blood and that technically, he's mentally retarded. Joe led a life of a patient for 3 whole years, refraining from chocolates, ice-creams and sweets while continuously being fed bitter medicines and boiled water with green veggies and soups.

More time passed and Joe's condition improved, although he was always shorter than his peers. People had no reason to notice a guy like him. He was bereft of talent, devoid of passion and determination. School life was a blur to this person. No one from his school ever remembered his birthdays, not even his best friend. Teachers loved making fun of his hair and his classmates used to think that he's a big weirdo.

After high school, Joe decided to prepare for one of the most prestigious examination of his country. Yet, half-hearted as he always was, his first attempt proved futile beyond words. His parents were disappointed in their son, once again. The world loved to taunt on his failure whenever they had a chance. And to add fuel to the fire, Joe was grossly overweight. From being a nobody in school to a nuisance in the neighbourhood, Joe had a pretty smooth transition. All this while, he never lost faith in god, praying daily for something better.

Joe decided to try once again. This time, he put in some serious effort and finally cracked his way into a good college. He arrived at the new place, bubbling with energy, full of hopes and dreams that this time, he was gonna carve a niche for himself.

Yet, fate had something else stored for him. The very things that Joe was a little passionate about were denied to him. He began to fall in despair. Such people usually tend to lash out at those who were having what he always wanted. And so did he...
He started proving to this world that if he cant be good, he's gonna be bad. Joe became a threat to people having a peaceful life and everyone began to think that this guy is not even worthy of anything. Once again began the cycle of loneliness and depressions...

Finally, Joe passed out of college and was married to a beautiful lass. She loved him deeply and truly. But the jerk that our dear ol' Joe was, he never really cared for her. He was too busy thinking himself to be a loser that he never heard what his lady thought of him. She tried for a moment, and when it didnt succeed, she left... Never to return..

Joe was petrified with her absence.. Only when she left him did he realise what he had lost. But nothing could be done now. Joe's children were convinced that their father is a bloody loser and they would do better than to stay in touch with him.

Fortunately, Joe didnt have to suffer this ordeal for long. As a kind of lucky irony, Joe's abnormal mind came to his rescue. One day, he just collapsed when he tried to get up from his bed and his tattered soul was lost into the oblivion. His corpse lay there, rotten to the core with ants tearing their way into his eye sockets and flies dancing merrily over his cracked skull... The stick he used to carry was eaten up by termites ruthlessly..
Nobody even noticed that a guy called Joe Average had gone away forever. A loner all his life, Joe was lonely even in afterlife!

To the world, he always presented a happy face, cherishing his sorrows inside meanwhile. All he wanted was to be remembered for something, to be missed by those whom he had once counted as special, to be loved by those whom he loved with all his heart, to have a tear shed for himself when people would no longer have his expressions in writing... May god have mercy on this poor soul!
Amen.

What if????

Tests are on.. Long hard hours of doing absolutely nothing except staring at α, β, µ, Ø, Ƞ and load of other crap.. our teachers are so very generous that not one of them bothered to share their lecture slides, leaving us to rot in our own mess.. Finally, one guy had d brain to click snaps of his notes and circulate them!! Word spreads.. Click, enter, copy and paste... Wow!! I just have a record of all the lectures that ever happened.. Time to cheer a bit.. A plate of noodles and glass of bournvita later, m again cursing the abovee-mentioned guy for circulating his notes.. Why the hell did he share them? Now, everyone's gonna study them and they will raise the average while I'll be left in a dilemma over whether to study or to binge on..
Damn you mechies! What makes you study so much so that the nose never leaves the cleavage(of the book, dirty minds!).. Its hard enough to attend lectures without dozing off, bear the brunt of a frustrated man who looks like he can eat you up for breakfast and to take notes with a pen borrowed from the girl in front! Open hair and all .. ;)
But no, one really has a stick up one's posterior end :x
Not only people study hard, but they rant about their ignorance openly when a strictly decent person (moi) has a doubt. Bloody (beep)!

Finally, I lie down.. And what comes to my mind?? Thoughts that this world aint really the way it is!!!!
What if pain isnt really pain? I may sound crazy, but this really works... Try this out.. next time you hurt your physical self, pause for a moment and ask yourself- Is this really pain?
Suddenly, you'll find that it hurts much less now(if not gone altogether).. Its so much easier that creating a boo-hoo about your sorry state, right??

The same thing applies elsewhere.. What if that jerk isnt as big a rascal as I think? What if that girl isnt as arrogant as she looks? What if that man isnt as grumpy? What if this book isnt as boring as people say? What if this college isnt as great as I had heard? What if I got placed somewhere big? Or not? What if that cricket world cup wasnt as clean as it looked? What if Aamir isnt as short as people say? What if he is just an insecure and jealous person? Or not? What if maggi is damn unhealthy? What if fruits arent meant to be plucked? What if someone that you love deserves someone much better/worse? What if feelings are really just chemical reactions happening deep inside your brain and nothing else? What if this whole world is a bloody sham? What if life itself is a shabby dream? What if I stop writing nonsense and actually get something that's of interest to you people? What if I just told you all to buzz off? What if the teacher isnt as nutty as he seems? Or maybe he is?

Lots of whats and ifs.. nothing significant in return.. Congratulations!! I just managed to salvage your time with nothing but utter rubbish and insolent philosophical crap just because I wanted to wake up your teeny-weeny brain from its long hibernation.. Wake up morons! This day is just as shitty as the one before, if not more.. What if I could just kick the hell out of Mr. Stupid-and-yet-acts-know-it-all?!!

beauty beauty everywhere.. Not a place to blink!!

Rainy season... little droplets of acidic water falling every moment from the sky in dollops.. Kind of weather that makes you snuggle in your bed 'til lunchtime.. But no ! I suddenly developed this nasty habbit of going to morning classes and getting myself insulted publicly... The pangs of academia !!

Anyways, I was talking about the rains... This is the time when you wake up, stand in front of the window(in appropriate apparel) and witness the creation of miracles, right in front of your eyes!
Its a green heaven out there... God resides in the details!!
The towers are standing guard over the harbingers of joy marching throught the air, marking the end of an era and the beginning of another... Every bug is dancing drunkenly, welcoming monsoons... Birds are chirping merrily as if happy and contented with the gods, bees are humming impatiently as if they cant wait to pounce on the nector... And I m wondering what would possibly be the best word to describe the scenery.. Something that combines nature, love, beauty and water...Hard luck though!!
Its just one of those times when you just want to roam around the countryside, hand in hand, with croaky remixes all around and dancing clouds overhead :)
Who needs to visit Europe when one already has the most amazing bounty of nature all around? If only we cared to see it and value it for what its worth.... And just when you start to get tired, out comes the drop.. People say that the first rain of the season is always the most enjoyable... It sure feels great to watch the earth daring the rain to throw its best shot.. A situation of taming anger with calmness, constantly...

Right here lies the question- What is it about the rain that makes life all the more important? Is it the fact that change is the only constant? Or is it the way seasons change? Or is it the way that we are all connected in a delicate balance in the great circle of life much like the way the seasons join us in perfect harmony?

Peace...

Meek week!!

Been a hectic week all around, what with the elections and all..
Taught me a lot of things too..
Firstly, one should never sit at a place where the teacher can easily spot you, especially if you arent having a notebook, a pen and a nagging friend by your side.. In such a situation, the teacher will come to you, ask you to solve the problem on the board, insult you heartily and will proceed to the rest of the class to explain how badly the placements are getting because people like 'moi' are making it to the "reputed" college like these!! And it doesnt stop there.. The satanic teacher reappears, asks you whether you are really a BITSian, your score, your branch, sighs heavily and checks you out from top to bottom, not unlike a gay tailor, not caring to be subtle at all... It was hurtful!! This is what the girls might feel like when Pervy Pervertson raises his gaze :P

Oh!! And my dear friends(Philu Khan, Bo$$ and Sanam Soliye, in particular) have been busy composing and choreographing a song for me.. Its got such an intensity that it feels like somebody reached into my chest, ripped out my heart and smeared it all over my face.. What wouldnt I give up to get back?!?!?!
Its raining cats and dogs outside.. Just when you decided to go up and have some quality time with your physical self, the clothe arent dry... And people say I stink.. You should smell the guy who lives 3 rooms away from me.. He can easily put pigs to shame!.. It aint easy to be on the radar all the time!

Talking about rains, there's this strange law in nature that makes the rain heavier as soon as you step out and by the time you are soaked to your skin, the rain stops, as if sneering at your wet soul... Reminds me of the time when Philu Khan was blow-drying his hair in chimney.. He got ash all over his shampooed tresses and had to bathe again only to realise that the water went out in the most important phase :P

Or when Sanam Soliye accidentally woke up in the middle of the day, went down and realised that his favourite t-shirt was responsible for the chaos in the common room :D