Headlights!!!

Me and Illa were out on another all-guys evening out(as usual!)... Vasco seems surprised these days to see the same set of guys walking around since three years and counting!!
Well, we cant help it. No chick is ready to hang out(or talk) with the leftists of AH-5. Maybe I release some kind of anti-female hormone which repels them. Or maybe we are the kind of people who form the rear of the crowd where girls prefer not to be..
Whatever may the matter be, we went to our favourite eatery and gorged on north-Indian delicacies fried in pure desi ghee. Afterwards, we went to yet another restaurant and ate yet another kind of goodie called the Onion Uttapa. My glass had a great big insect bathing inside and so, Illa's glass had to take care of two thirsty guys. Again, two guys drinking out of the same glass in a public place had to look suspicious. The elderly lady on the next table kept wondering what on earth has this world come to.. The manager looked daggers at us. It was just when we got up to paid the bill that we noticed something odd. The manager was smiling mischievously and knowingly. We looked at each other, puzzled...
Anyhow, we pushed the matter to the back of our mind and went to try out more beverages. And the onset of Diwali meant that our favourite drink was not served for a period of a week or so. Cursing our luck and giving many a finger to the haughty shopkeeper, we decided to climb on Miss India...
As inviting as it sounds, its just the name of the last bus from Vasco to college.  :P
It was jam-packed inside, with BITSian girls and guys from the local colleges. We occupied the seat next to the driver, got thrown out once by the conductor, waited for a few moments on the aisle, and sat there again when we realised that people are throwing dark glances at us again. Cant two guys go out on their own without having to suffer such a behavior from others?!?! It hurts like anything when people invade your privacy in such a rude manner :'(
At long last, the other guys said that girls from BITS were damn good(!!!), even if they werent always friendly and talkative. Now, it may sound completely nonsensical, but I felt a kind of pride. To hear the praise of those whom I have disrespected most of the time felt kinda great. No offence ladies :)
 They also said that we looked good with each other... Titters followed this last comment..
And then, right there, in the dark cabin of Miss India did I realise why exactly people were considering me and Illa to be romantically involved. I WAS WEARING A RED CHEST-HUGGING T-SHIRT EMBROIDERED WITH STUDS!!  :-O

Bits in pieces

So we are working on our project, filing our hearts out, buying piece after piece of scrap and then, BAM!!
The workshop people tell us there aint any way we are gonna be allowed to use the most important machine... The one, the only, the VMC.. Apparently, she's damn expensive, incredibly user-friendly and totally out of reach for those who really wish to make some good use out of it. Its kept there as a mere show-piece, to attract a rep that our college has the best of labs and tons of research scope. Although it would be better if they replaced the shaper. In the words of one of the instructors, "it may fall over if its used". And to add fuel to the fire, for every screw-driver or pliers that we borrow, we have to convince them that we arent gonna sell them outside after we are done. Measuring tapes and nut-bolts are still alien to this workshop!
They just forget one little thing... Research aint gonna be seduced by sexy machines or big names. It has to come from us, the students... And when its bubbling out of our heads on the presentations and reports, teachers decide it just aint good enough.. I doubt whether they have done an honest day's work in their life as a teacher :-x
Apparently, some guys messed up a project in their time.. When my team decided to propose an altogether different yet quite ambitious project to the group leader, he reciprocates with four 'get-out's in one minute and juicy slangs. WTH???
Every single person in here is cynical. Cynical about their marks, about their placements, about their relationship status, or about their shape (me!!)... They say a good college education nurtures your whole future.. Is this the idea of a good education?? Textbook questions in every exam, daily attendance in lectures with teachers having the most amazing photographic memory(read that as rote learning). Why, they teach everything exactly as its printed in our books, correct upto 2 decimal points!!



And then some say that you should be grateful that you are in such a great institution. Well, m not! Not at all, in fact. Call me a traitor if you will, but my idea of a good institution was not this. I wanted my college days to be the most amazing days of my life. Food, fun, friends, projects, competitions, achievements and minimum study from books.
Food is bearable, fun is bereft, friends are fickle and rest is just thin air. I tried twice to go into the drama club. First time, my acting sucked and I was thrown out. Second time, their judging sucked and again, I was thrown out. Instead, a senior guy was taken just because he was a "chaddi-buddy" to most of them.
Hardly anyone(single ones, mind you!) here ever notices the weather outside because their asses are glued to their chairs by a certain demon called DC. Movies, crap, softwares, crap, porn, crap, games, crap, bitching and crap are just about DC's main gifts to us. Its a phenomena actually. People who cant have a life outside try to act big on DC. No matter how chicken they are outside, on DC, they are "godlyk /\" or "noobs". Guts are something they are yet to earn!
One might not believe it but the biggest tussle this college has ever seen is a war of words and exchange of slaps amongst two guys. Catfights would seem more appropriate for such wusses.
Everyone comes here with the sole intention of job placements, college life be damned!
Teachers finish their research after lecturing us about how useless we are and how this country's engineering quotient is following its sex-ratio. Maybe they fail to realise that if only they thought about being more of a teacher rather than an instructor, students might strike gold.
May god bless this college... We desperately need it!!
And kids, think a lot before you make a decision about your college. A big name not necessarily implies that you are gonna get what you expect. Ours is one of the biggest names, literally, but then....

Satanic curses..

To love someone and to be loved in return is a luck gifted to few.. It may exist in various forms. The love between parents and child, between husband and wife, amongst siblings, friends, between teacher and student, master and pet, so forth and so on. Then again, despair always goes hand in hand with love. If you are in love, you are bound to fall in despair one time or another. Either because your loved one is in pain or because the loved one has given you pain. Maybe the distances are too long… Maybe the connection isn’t that strong… Or maybe it’s you are just not good enough to deserve them…

Either way, it hurts like hell. And then you begin to question yourself- what was it that went wrong? Was it me? Was it her? Am I unlovable? What was it that I lacked?
Satan would serenade the bearers of grief if only he knew what it felt to lose out on your love. Yet, you try to make sure that the person whom you loved lives a life of harmony.

Time goes on… Life moves ahead… And then, at one corner of the road, when you least expect it, you find someone who loves you in spite of yourself. One who embraces your qualities and faults with aplomb and is ready to walk the extra mile just to wish you luck on your journey. You feel alive, important, confident, and most importantly, loved. Someone somewhere is sad just because you aren’t there. A tear has your name smeared all over it. You have something that no one else in the world could ever have… It's the most beautiful, the purest heart, a blessing of Aphrodite…

And then, it happens… You make her cry…

When she’s sad, the world becomes your enemy. You are ready to rip apart the very reason of her sadness. You are mad with anger. Mad enough to cross over to the other side and blast that wretched Satan right through hell. Mad enough to stab God in the chest repeatedly and order him to right all wrongs. And dumb enough not to grasp that the very reason she’s crying is the one rascal who is too lame-brained to value her love.
If only there was a way to turn back time, to reverse your undoing, to bring back that serene smile and to brighten up those cheeks… Fate is a fickle friend!
She doesn’t know what it’s like getting up next morning feeling hopeless. Feeling like the love of your life is with the wrong person (YOU!!). But at the same time, hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it’s never gonna be with you…

Dedicated to the special someone who made a boy so happy that he forgot altogether what it was like to be hurt…

Red star, blue yonder...

Its the end of rainy season. Bugs and beetles take their leave while my laundry is swaying happily on the rope. A clear blue sky and a hot sun meant that this day was meant to be spent out. We set out, the three of us, Me, Asati and Obbishek.
 After a hefty lunch and countless rejections later, we got on board with a jolly fellow in his car. Standing still in the highway with our thumbs pointing upwards has taught us a great lesson. The size of a man's heart in inversely proportional to the size of his car. People in expensive cars and SUV's never give a damn to us charming fellas on the highway. Its only those who have smaller cars(not sedans, mind you!) or pick-up trucks that bother to stop and drop. Needless to say that they are also quite chatty and cheerful. One person even told us what not to do on a certain beach if we arent sober ;)
Anyhow, we hopped off the car, climbed on the bus, stuck our heads out of the window and jumped off an hour later. It was a walk from there uphill. Finally, we are at the track. The go-karting track in Nuvem, near Madgaon, yet ages away from it. No food, no cold drinks.. Just overpriced mineral water and the smell of rubber burning on the tarmac. Man!! This is what heaven must look like.




Half an hour later, m strapping a helmet on my head and settling down with her. She's dressed in red, is roused and raring to go.



Three counts by Asati and we are off. Into a world of our own, where only the two of us exist. She dares me to go harder, feasting on corners and sneering at the straights. In the bigger scheme of things, we are just a speck on the face of the universe, wasting away fuel and aiding global warming with every throttle of that shiny pedal. In the smaller, selfish scheme of things, I am the knight. And she is my stallion, outflying every typhoon and brook on the way. We are one.. Metaphorically, no... Spiritually, yes!
10 laps over and we are separated. To each his own!
We walk down, find an unused pathway and sit on its roof, accompanied by Kingfishers. Dusk surrounds us, 3 guys sitting there in a stupor, much to the disgust of passers-by... Apparently, we are the kind of people who are more suited to the degraded dark alleys. One particular lady was kind enough to point her gnarly finger towards us and educate her little daughter on the quality of men :P
Been there for 2 hours and not moving a muscle, we climb down, to return to our abode. However, fate wasnt ready to end it smoothly.
We reached the bus stop and began the ritual of thumb-waving and street-dancing.. Several disappointing minutes later, a truck driver stops, buys himself a crate of beer and is just about to leave when he finds a terrifying face in his rear-view mirror. Obbishek was just trying to persuade him to drop us at our college. And he agreed!! We climb at the back, start cursing every passing car who didnt bother to help us and sing in the wind with the dancing clouds..


Adventure over, jump down the truck, thank the driver and his over-friendly mate, cross the street menacingly and enter our safe haven, the good ol' 6x6 room with a view ;)

Beg your pardon, Mademoiselle...

Define irony. In my opinion, irony it is when the only Hindi films nominated in top 5 for the Oscars are those which depict India (Mumbai in particular) in shambles. Yesterday, I watched one such movie- Salaam Bombay. One of the few hindi movies with imdb rating of 7.9. Mira Nair wields magic in her work. It has powerhouse performances by Nana, Chanda, Raghubir etc.
Drugs, prostitution, human trafficking and child labor seem to be the backbone of the "tinsel town". All this is too damn depressing, and yet, true. A guy is dead from drug overdose, a kid is forced to work all day to earn Rs 10, a girl is abducted from her village and brought to Mumbai to be sold just because she still has her "flower", and a man forces his own wife to sleep with other men for money.
For the first time in my life, I am ashamed for being a man. Men, for whom women were always an object of desire. Mughals had polygamy, we have extra-marital affairs, rape, prostitution and other sexual abuses. How deplorable it is to know that just because we are physically stronger than them, so we can dominate them to our whims. Its not all that, dammit!

A woman nurtures the society. She is endowed with the ability of creating a new life. And their will is far more stronger than men can ever hope to be. Their world is very small, centered around their families. Anne Frank said many  years ago that the pain a woman undergoes during labor is identical to what a man might feel if he was torn from the groin with a blunt sword. Yet, all men are concerned about is whether its a boy or a girl. The dont give a rat's ass to how shattered their beloved wife would feel if her own new-born was murdered even before it opened its eyes. They say that when a man goes astray, one part of the society is lost. But when a woman goes on the wrong path, the whole society pays its due.


The thing to remember is that a lady is much more than her physique. She has a soul, a sensibility of her own. We should stop lusting for them and view them instead as the true makers of our world. Too much testosterone has always been a cause of trouble. The porno industry is a classic example to that. And yeah, men should also stop correlating real life with porn. Already India's sex-ratio has dipped far below the red line.
Another irony is that those few males who do know how to respect women are mostly gay, and so, beleaguered by those who are "straight". Grow up dumbass! Look a woman in her eye while talking. Its not a man's world without a woman. Its not just about one's whimsical pleasures. No matter how much we can achieve, we'll always need someone to share the joy.


Always remember that it was Mary Magdalene who carried Christ's royal bloodline forward, not Peter. Even the Pagan were wise enough to understand the divinity of women. And unless you want to rid your world of all sensibility and maturity, and live like a bloody loser, START RESPECTING WOMEN!!
Or else, women will go the same way as tigers. And men will not be happy but gay...