Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

This content may shake the beliefs of many. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

It all started with a marriage. And my life changed before I knew it.

First day, she was standing at the door, with a platter of sweets and dazzling smile. One glance from behind the cousin made me wonder who that pretty lass was (and whether she was single!!). Dressed impeccably in white, it was as if the world stopped spinning for a minute when she was being introduced. Later, during the lunch, I hit upon her, not wishing to miss any chance. However, every flirt of mine was greeted with either an unusually pink blush or stony silence. And that day, we were both made rivals. She had to steal the groom's shoes, and I was instructed to save them...
Another day, she was dressed in purple for the tilak. Again, the lion in me roared while the dog started wagging its tail frantically. And there I was, surrounded by girls and 'the girl'. Once the dances got underway, I tried by every hook and crook to get talking to her and swoop away with at least her number. But no, this time too, we were either surrounded by more kids (11th grader, in particular), or so alone that again she had to resort to her silences!
And then came the night. The main hoopla. The big daddy of all! The marriage ceremony, with chants and pandits... Little did I know that the lady dressed in mid-summer's blue was about to spin my head the wrong way every time she passed by.
We had devised a foolproof plan for saving the shoes. Accordingly, we switched the groom's shoes every 10 mins so as to confuse the 'girl brigade'... Needless to say, it worked like clockwork. And while the bride and groom were busy getting clicked, I popped out right next to 'the girl' and began, once again, the cycle of smart lines and smarter jokes!
At least this time, she replied most formally and politely. And the fact that her mother was standing just a few paces away did no good either.. It was all over. I threw my hands into the sky, sulking for being single eternally!
However, all was not lost yet. I still had the shoes to save. And I was determined not to let 'the girl' win at any cost.
Suddenly, everyone dived at the groom's feet when he was about to sit in the sacred tent for the final rituals and seven steps. Now, one might think this was just another act for blessings. No sir, it wasnt! 'The girl' and her cousins just wanted to remove the shoes even before the groom could remove them. But for the animal that we can be, my clan and me clung to every bit of leather we could. After a mighty struggle, in which chairs were upturned and elders were uprooted, they got just one shoe (that too, the spare pair!). No one gave a damn to the groom, who was dangling head first towards the ground!
Technically, we had won... But when a girl this pretty starts to go back disappointed, one really couldnt be smug, even if they are undefeatable. And my! Her eyes were throwing fireballs at those who had foiled her shoe-snatching... The rituals started and the youngsters began blabbering away... having given up on her, I stayed within my friends and cousins all the while..
Now, for this one moment, all of the male populace is gonna be proud of me. After what seemed liked a painful hour, 'the girl' tapped my head from behind, and asked for MY NUMBER!! And for the minute that it took to sink in, that I, the guy who was once labelled "a loudmouth undatable jerk", was being hit upon by a girl! I hid my glee and casually passed her the number that was going to be my luckiest one ever.
After the exchange of garlands, we headed upstairs for the bride's fairwell rituals. And also to reward the 'girl brigade' for their so-called triumph over the shoes. Finally, we agreed to bargain for half the price they were asking, since they only got one shoe. I was all for giving away just Rs 500 as consolation prize and moving on. But a sharp punch in the ribs by 'the girl' in front of both families made me see some sense and I went quiet thereafter. However, never before had a punch felt so great. There she was, arguing with all her might, all alone.. And yet, she won and got a large wad of cash. Outside, I displayed a healthy spirit on my defeat. Inside, I was literally losing my senses and floating in the air. Never before had losing out to a girl felt this good!
Who could have imagined that a marriage could kick-start the end of my singleton status and throw 'the girl' into my destiny? Not me, certainly!


Dedicated to the one who still thinks that I fell down in a ditch, while I had only lost a little balance.. A word to the wise.. Never waste time in a marriage that isnt yours. And the best girls are always found around their "Jiju-to-be" ;)

7 comments:

  1. "having given up on her, I stayed within my friends and cousins all the while.."
    FRIENDS shud hav been in caps n double quotes, I suppose.. isnt it?? :D
    N u DID fall down in d ditch.. u cant deny that.. B)

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  2. Dats a blatant lie ma'am.. I am a very sure-footed person B-)
    As for the FRIENDS, I suppose u have already put them in "caps" n "double quotes" quite a few times :D ;)

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  3. yeah.. u indeed are a very sure-footed person.. B) :)
    N i will "ALWAYS" giv ur FRIENDS d honour to be in caps n double quotes.. B) :D

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  4. I just hope they live to see the "honor" about to be showered on them :D
    Most of them aren't immune towards 3rd degree torture :P

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  5. How come u know that they aren't immune to 3rd degree torture.. U know a lot about them, ryt?? B/

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  6. Its totally an subjective opinion.. I meant MAYBE, by the looks of their bones, they may collapse under the said "honor" :|

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